a stream of high consciousness

wtf?

what a great word for a home run in baseball.

a walk off homer to end the game.

the game is now over. walk off the field.

a walk off home run is sick.
it makes me want to apply the term to other things.

i just had a walk off dinner

i just gave a fuckin walk off presentation

yeah yeah yeah… fuck yeah.

one thing i can guarantee if you are a guest in my home is that the internet / computer experience will be

OUTSTANDING!!!!

-an excerpt from

mr terry silver (9:41:10 PM): people love using computers at my house

mr terry silver (9:41:46 PM): they’re like “hey this is great….so quick”. i feel like saying yeah cause i dont click on 150 porn popups you little scumbag, get off my keyboard and mouse

funny if you take a friend to a game and they dont say anything all game except:

“he’s gonna hit one…”

next pitch, gone.

then you turn around and look at your friend and slug him in the gut

say you try some joke on just one person and it wins them over big time.

BIG LAUGHS

since it performed well, you most likely will re-use that joke again with a larger crowd to reap fuller benefits.

this is a known as: double joke usage (dju syndrome)

now if you reuse the same joke on the original test person again with the larger group, it creates a dilemma.

does the tester

1. call you out on the double joke usage?
   1. embarrassing you in front of the large group
2. does he give the same joke he’s already heard another, good, belly laugh, and to you a wink?
   1. you’ll owe him for that. next time you better laugh a little extra hard at one of his bust jokes.

all in all, it is good practice to try to keep this type of issue to a minimum so either avoid dju syndrome or don’t double use on the tester. then its a victimless crime.

funny phrase.

it truly does allow you to brag about something, guilt free.

great.

all you have to do is include that phrase in whatever you’re bragging about.

shit, the cats outta the bag now better go find the little fucker and shove him back in

(ps revisited and this was a bust joke at the end)

you can tell an umpire when you see one. they have this very authoritative look on their face.

it would be easy to tell the umpire in a lineup of mens faces.

try it yourself, which one of these guys is a major league umpire:

answer? select text below this to see which guy is the umpire

select from here

the 1st guy is the umpire.

to here

ok so that might have been easy. here is a more difficult one to prove my point:

select from here

if you struggled picking just one, you should have. they’re all umpires.

to here for the answer

moral of the story: umpires are hot!

here’s a list of pictures of all the mlb umpires

is the best show ever.

unintentional comedy at its finest. this hick guy odell is selling knives and telling stories that have no bearing on everything. here is something he said about the knives live on this qvc show (picture a hick accent reading this):

“last summer… these knives were given to boy scouts in the greater american area to go out live and field test these knives…… the knives stood up, the knives put up, and the knives passed all the tests in the field and come out with…… (wicked awkward pause) ….flying col (pause) ers… as far as ah what we consider to be a hot, hot, selling item. ”

this is a show on nightly on the INFO channel on Directv. i very highly recommend it, tivo a season pass

if you would like to see what you are missing, see odell starring in an episode below:

everyone is always saying “microsoft isn’t innovating” and “they’re stealing ideas”

a program called evolution is a free open source, linux replacement of outlook (not nearly as good btw)

take a look at the screenshot below. whos copying who again?

click to enlarge

i just realized this.

derek jeter has 2213 hits so far in his career. he is 32 years old.

let’s say he plays until he’s 42 so he has 10 years left to play assuming no bad injuries. yeah i’m assuming that.

jeter has AVERAGED 208 hits per 162 ABs games in his career. wow.

so let’s be conservative and say he averages 190 hits a season for the next 10 years.

190 * 10 = 1900 new hits + 2213 hits already = 4113 hits career.

the all time hits leaders are:

that would put jeter in 3rd place on the list. what if he plays until he’s 45?

he’d have 4493 hits career making him number one on the list.

he’s going to be a legend.